I feel everything and nothing,
Numbness and the tips of a thousands knives,
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,
But what happens when being strong is what makes you feel weak?
Your heart is screaming,
Your mind is racing,
Your drowning while standing still…
And no one seems to understand,
To be lost yet standing right there,
Every emotions running thru you it consumes you,
Looking for the light,
Unable to find it,
Heart beat slows,
And you hear,
Nothing yet you feel everything and nothing,
Searching for my voice,
Searching for validation,
PSTD as set in on me,
I open my mouth but words won’t come out,
I’m search for words and yet searching for me,
looking in the mirror but I can’t seem to see,
to shattered to see,
somehow I lost me,
But I’m dying and no one sees,
desperately seeking validation because my feelings don’t seems to be free,
tears still flows my eyes swollen you see,
my mind seems to be playing tricks on me,
I drowning in a series of moments you see,
can’t seem to find what I’m seeking you see,
validation never comes cuz I’m crazy you see?
my mind playing tricks and I can’t protect me,
just want acceptance you see?
I know I can only find it in me,
I’m aching to get back to me..
What is love but empty words when the actions around it show different,
The unique ability to lie so clearly without so much as a blink,
Actions and words speak confusion so much so that one loses their common sense,
Take a step back,
Is this an elaborate hoax or a Da Vinci masterpiece?
Caught up in the moment of fantasy and non fiction,
Things become clearer,
How could you be so smart and so dumb at the same time?
All along it was right there in front of your face,
You allowed your eyes to see, your mind to know and your heart to excuse,
You’re an actor who has played this part before but tell yourself lies no more,
What is love?
Love is when words and actions meet,
Love isn’t supposed to hurt like this,
Love matches love,
You define what love is to you!
I just wanna
I just wanna kiss you as if my life depended on it,
I just wanna love you as if your soul spoke to me and told me what it needed,
I just wanna touch you in a way where our minds were in sync,
I just wanna hold you and have you let go all of your past hurt,
It doesn’t matter,
Doesn’t matter what I want,
I can choose,
Is it time wasted?
After all what’s a soulmate,
When ya soul break,
I just wanna,
Get a nut?
Pretending that shit don’t matter…
When did it ever matter?
As a matter fact,
You can’t make anyone love you,
Gotta be their choice to,
Meanwhile, you just wanna show them what real love is,
Not asking to be kept,
Off ya feet,
Swept of ya feet like a fairytale?
We know very well that that’s make believe,
In real life,
Down in real life,
You’ll never be a wife
And you just wanna what?
It was a setup from the beginning,
you know that let’s get to know each other vibe,
everything’s fine, right?
it’s that anything you say or do will be held and used against in the court of dating,
past, present and current,
how do I battle old me,
versus new me?
the gun is pointed at my head,
it’s a glock,
so you got 17 shots before I’m dead,
every bullet you use,
I handed you,
transparency will be the death of me,
where did I go wrong?
none of my words or action gave you just cause to end me,
I can’t even defend me,
you slowly let loose,
it’s almost empty,
empty and hopeless is what I feel,
confused because I was just being real,
honest and true,
but my words and actions are meaningless to you,
damn I can’t believe I’m going out like this,
never thought this would be the death of we, or me,
how do I move after this,
or can I,
I’m looking up to the sky as that real part of me is leaving,
this death of the essence of me…