Every day…

Everyday is a struggle for me. Depression can be a scary thing. When I get in my head its the worst. I just sit for hours crying. A few nights back it hit me, I was just crying and crying and I couldn’t help feel helpless. I didnt want to feel anything and when you feel that way, the best way to feel nothing anymore is death. It was that extreme for me. My only saving grace was my son. God saw fit to have him up and around me even when I tried to be alone he didnt leave me. I knew I could never do that to him. But I need help. I thought about checking in somewhere, looked it up too but I thought of him. I know he is tired of seeing his mommy like this. I know he doesnt understand. Half the time I’m stress sleeping or crying. I have had therapy appointments that keep getting psuhed back hopefully this next one happens because I can’t keep going on like this.