Can someone say they love you, and make you feel so undeniably insecure?
I have never really been an insecure person, but at the risk of sounding dumb and so very caught up that’s where I am right now. I’m in love someone who I know loves me, says they want a future with me. But in this very moment has me feeling insecure. At this point one of two things going on, you love me but your not in love with me. So you’re entertaining a temporary person and if that doesn’t work I’m your faithful so let’s make this work. Or you love me, but rather than let me go because you don’t want what I want right now, you want me to wait in the wings until you are ready?
It’s been made very clear that you can’t handle the idea of me entertaining anyone else, but I’m supposed to believe this person that is claiming you is just crazy? Nah, my heart wants to believe you but my head is screaming “Let It Go”! I have already emotionally checked out of the situation (outwardly) but inside the storm is brewing. I cannot make anyone fall in love with me. Any more than I can make anyone want me. I’m far from perfect but I feel we are soulmates, but maybe that just a figment of my imagination.
If we reverse this situation, would you be able to handle what you are dishing out? Let’s be honest.. nope!! Sure I can just jump to the next, but I know what I want and at this point the fish in the see are on the wave of let’s be friends. I’m not budging because I know what I want and deserve.
Love is a very tricky and emotional thing. Something I have been trying to avoid since my last real relationship. I held on to the point that we got in engaged, he cheated, I took him back and we planned a baby, I got pregnant, we told our families, he got married a week later to the girl he cheated on me with. <====== The damage that does, is hard to come back from but I did. I vowed to never let anyone hurt me like that again. I don’t want to be an option. You either want me or you don’t.
Is it too much to ask someone to love me, the way that I love them. And be loyal and be just for me, like I would be for them?
Last night I had a dream about my son’s father. In the dream he was threatening to jump of a building and take his life. I was so upset in this dream, I was giving him all the reasons he needed to stay alive.
I woke up from that dream feeling weird. I have never had a dream like this and it worried me. Worried me to the point of waiting for his call just to tell him, I love him. Even though we are having issues and not on the same page. That my love was unconditional. Whether we are together or not, he needed to know this.
I know we both have been dealing with personal struggles…very different struggles but that dream played in my head most of the day.
I finally looked up what it meant… interesting is what I will say. But one of those things was on point.
I never wanna have a dream like this, especially about someone this close to me.
One of the many things people need to learn. Sometimes we learn the hard way.