Waiting for tonight

It’s been a long week and I have one more day to go! Most of this week my old ass has been knocked out by 930, missing almost all of my shows. 

This week my attitude started out great and then it crept up to a “fuck it” mood. Doing the work that I do, will really make you hate unproductive people. I know so many people that would love a stable job and then you have this lame excuse for workers, barely coming in and bitching about their paychecks or lack thereof. Maybe, I shouldn’t share that but its the truth. I worked a lot of jobs in and its a lot of lazy folks who want the money and don’t wanna show up or do work. I’m wasting my time typing this because this will never change.

I love my job, its just that lazy folks erk my soul!

So tonighr these drinks tonight welcome! 

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Shades of Beauty


​If I posted something like “Light Skin is Better” or “Light Skins Winning”, I’d be attacked by my brown skins counterparts. So why is it okay to make statements against us? I get how things can be sometimes, but not all lightskin girls or women feel superior to our other black sisters. I remember growing up so many of my fights were over some girls who were a few shades darker than myself, that assumed that I thought because my hair was longer and my skin tone I thought I was better. FOR THE RECORD I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT THAT. All shades of black are beautiful!! Statements like “The Black The Berry The Sweeter The Juice” pertaining to skin tones is the most common used term to take a jab at the lighter complexed skin tones. I said all that to say this, be mindful of your words. All shades of black are beautiful! 

Happy Weight

if-your-girl-dont-gain-a-lil-weight-while-she-2486355They say you gain weight when you in a happy relationship, I never really understood this theory. In my case, I have been dating this guy for coming up on  a year and have gotten unsolicited comments on getting thicker or putting on weight.

I know I’m putting on some extra because clothes that fit don’t fit no more. LOL, I have to go up a size or wear stretchy clothes.  I wish it was my cheeks because I wouldn’t mind that, but when they coined the saying “Thick Thighs Save Lives” y’all clearly missed the memo of chafing and messing up a good pair of jeans because of your thick thighs. Don’t mind me, I’m venting just a little. Muffin top is not sexy depending on who you ask. I brought some muffin top control panties, now either I brought the wrong size or idk, because all they do is roll down. LMAO, I promise this post wasn’t meant for comical relief.

 

But how many buy into the happy relationships cause people to gain “happy” weight?

 

 

 

Monday Blues

Maybe I need to rethink drinking so much in the middle of the night knowing I have to be to work! But it’s his fault:

Well not his fault, I blame Game of Thrones and my excitment for drinking to much. Needless to said it had me at work burnt out (maybe still drunk). My stomach talking to me in a languages I can’t comprehend. Food doesn’t taste like anything. 😂😂😂 Don’t laugh too hard me. I’m just tryna get my life in order and make it another house and go home to my bed. I can’t today, maybe tomorrow. I need to make better life choices.

Testimony 

Yesterday, while at BJs I ran into my old work first program director. We got to talking and she said she was proud of me and I should come check out their new facilities and share my story. Most don’t know but I was homeless for quite a while and leaned toward welfare for help. Of course the lady assumed I was lying and threaten to put me and my daughter in a shelter. I ended up at Homefront FPC at The School for the deaf, which is where I attended this work first program. I learned how to use Microsoft office, got a place to live (ny 1st apt on stuyvesant ave) and then found a job at the Old Navy in Hamilton Market place it was just opening up. Left due to no steady hours, went back to welfare and joined another WF program and got in the state of nj as CWEP (Unpaid intern) for a 1 1/2 and got hired permanent in 2009. Been on my own since my first apt and left welfare behind. I said all that to say this, everyone needs help and you shouldn’t be ashamed, understand where you been and where you are now. Be proud of yourself and thank God! I been working every since. Maintaining my household and raising my kids as best I can, so before you judge me understand that that’s just a piece of my story and it doesn’t define me.