Why do I sign myself up for things I know mean me no good. I feel like I’m going crazy. I have explained and explained and the same result. I’m at a point where I feel like they do understand but want to continue the narrative that me expressing myself is the issue and I’m crazy. Like 🤔
I’m starting to second guess myself. I’m at a loss for words because honestly what else is there to say when you aren’t being heard?
I feel defeated 😞. I like quit… I say this and go right back like an entire dummy…. I’ve been praying for the light at the end of the tunnel to guide me out.
We really have to learn that not everyone is going to move the same we do. How I respond or react may be different from you, but that’s the beauty of being different.
How would the world look, if we all responded and acted the same?
Sometimes we are too emotionally invested in the actions of our friends and loved one. Sometimes rightfully so. But we have to know when to step back and allow them to take time to get where we are. I know its easier said then done. But we can love them from afar and be there when they need us the most. Most importantly not abandoning them.
My therapist said something to me the other day about knowing to set boundaries. She said you set them and then don’t follow through. I’m a work in progress.
A friend asked me about staying with me for a little while. Normally, I would say yes but this time I politely said no. I just got some peace and while she may not being disruption but I know the journey I am on and I don’t want any reason to stop my progress.
I felt bad and maybe she was upset. But maybe she will understand. Idk….
Sometimes we need time to ourselves. Like fr fr, cuz we leave a bad situation and someone shows us something we wanted or was looking for, all while missing all the 🚩 they try to cover our eyes too. Don’t be scared to be by yourself. Don’t be scared to not fill up down times with someone because its comfortable or convenient. Yes, we all have needs but that can be a distraction too. We get so excited over a mf doing shit that they should be doing off basic shit, that we get caught up only to look dumb later or be damaged worst.
Take a beat and just be okay we with being by yourself. I know most won’t get this… yall so caught up with wanting to be loved like you should. You miss the part where you need to take time to love YOU like you should.
I done been thru enough shit. Settling for breadcrumbs will never be enough. I WANT IT ALL, FUCK THAT BARE MINIMUM SHIT!