Posted in Poetry

Black Women Scare Me

Black women scare me
They scare the hell out of me
If she is strong and confident
I feel powerless and weak around her
The most secure she is the terrified I am
She intimidates me
Her strong presence gives me the chills
I don’t respect her I fear her
Black women scare me
Their beauty is breath-taking and their powerful vibes give me pause
Black women scare me
My mother scared me for years
Her strong presence kept me on pins and needles
I never saw her sweat or drop a tear
I knew her anger all too well
When it seethed out I ran
I went into hiding until that powerful beast went away
I did not know how to take her
I was always praying I did not make her mad
Black women scare me
Don’t piss her off….ever
The stronger she is the more I dance on eggshells
She is superior to me
And I am not worthy of her love
Black women scare me
I feel inferior because I lack confidence and strength
I lack emotional strength
When I cry I feel so weak
Although I am sensitive being vulnerable makes me feel weak as well
Black women scare me
She scares me because I wish so badly to be just like her
I want to ask her how did you get so strong but I am afraid
Afraid her response will crush me
Black women scare me
Ain’t I a black woman?
Shouldn’t I be strong and proud too!
Please black woman teach me how to be just like you.

Neisha Kelly
“Never let a dream be deferred.”
COY Magazine
www.coymag.net

Posted in Poetry

Somewhere In America

Posted in Poetry

Bi Polar Rambling

All in my head so mixed up and confused,

I want to hide myself,

So that no one could see my flaws,

I admit them openly but sometime how it still bothers me,

Thinking

Thinking too much,

Then depression follows,

I’m stuck in this state even when I seem to be social,

I have pulled the wool over their eyes,

and I hide…

wondering when everyone will see,

see me,

know me,

accept me,

and love me….

I’m trapped in my mind with no way out,

only 15 min breaks…

how can find my escape?

I write whats in my head,

but sometimes my thoughts come to fast,

so the hide in places…

waiting for me to come off my 15

rambling in this bi polar girls mind…

damn…

**Wrote this Nov. 30, 2010.**