I pledge to myself that May starts a brand new chapter in my life. I will no longer allow things or people to make me unhappy. If it’s not preserving my peace, than it doesn’t need to be around me. Many of times I given into others to make them happy or not be mad. This time, I have to be selfish because losing who I am, is no longer an option. Despite all the pain and tears these last few months God has been there to bless me. I’m grateful for those who were there to let me vent, cry and just came around to me be there. It’s been hard, slowly getting back to the woman you guys used to know. But striving for so much more!!!
**I wrote this a while back… finally deciding to post it.**
Someone told me I was beautiful a few days ago and I didn’t say anything in response. I’m not fishing for compliments. I really wasn’t feeling that way. The day before that I had a conversation with someone who loved me, as they proceed to tell me about myself. It was the first time someone ever called me out on some shit. Idk why this has never happened before, but that shit hurt like no other but I had to respect their honesty. I mean how many people walk around feeling someone kind of way towards you and actually tell you?
I’m disgusted at myself for behaving in the manner and unfortunately there is no second chance offered to fix or mend things. Knowing that felt like someone kicked me in the gut.
I’m at the point of self reflection on how not to repeat these grievances again. At this point I cannot even look at myself in the mirror.