We all are guilty at some point in our lives of getting caught up in the idea of something. I have been caught up in an idea that relationships are working, when clearly they are not.
To quite honest, I have been caught up in mixed signals when words speak more true and as of late actions. Here I am settling down to prepare for a relationship that is never gonna happen. Who am I kidding? I need to stop pretending things are as I want them to be.
Hate to sound pitiful but if I’m being honest, I doubt I’m going to be in any relationship any time soon. Why? Because I feel myself always trying to prove that I’m worthy of being picked, worthy to be that someone to someone. Being told I’m a good woman, just never good enough for anyone I want to date. Or not believe anyone who is interested in me. Mostly because most ppl are interested because they want to be with me intimately only. Maybe that’s the vibe I give off. Idk… maybe I just need time to myself.
But honestly, I have tired that and then someone gets my attention. And of course I’m caught up in the idea yet again only to be let down.
Idk guys felt like venting…
For many that know my son’s father was unable to be around him physically for 4 1/2 years of his life. Although, he was well aware of what was going on with his twin. For 1 1/2 he was a present father, and it was hard not being around his child. I remember the phone call we had when I told him our son was diagnosed with Autism he wanted to understand what exactly it was.
In a random event he was able to come home. We thought about how our son would react and it was like he had never left. This little person who looked just like him, gravitated to him and seemed to remember exactly who he was. So much so that he kicked me to curb, for him. If you know my Potato he has been stalking me for the better part of almost 6 years.
All the professional said, once his dad is around he will do way more by copying him. I was very skeptical. Surprised to say, he is doing more self care, seems like small beans. But the fact that he is brushing his hair, teeth and using the potty way more. All thanks to watching and emulating his father is short of amazing. When I told his dad, he understand that although it seemed small, he was a big deal. Our son shows off and shows his dad exactly what he knows how to do.
I’m looking for more progression. All the elements have come and he will be doing a lot more. We are extremely proud of him. But watching their relationship and bond grown is amazing.
Fathers are important to our children. This has been a blessing and I cannot wait to see more.