Posted in GFT Radio, mood, opinions, Personal, random, Reflection, Thoughts, Uncategorized

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Posted in opinions, Personal, random, Thoughts

In therapy

My therapist said something to me the other day about knowing to set boundaries. She said you set them and then don’t follow through. I’m a work in progress.

A friend asked me about staying with me for a little while. Normally, I would say yes but this time I politely said no. I just got some peace and while she may not being disruption but I know the journey I am on and I don’t want any reason to stop my progress.

I felt bad and maybe she was upset. But maybe she will understand. Idk….

Posted in mood, Personal

Conversations like this

You ever accused someone of doing something, only for someone to call you to the carpet for the same shit?

Yeah, I just had a conversation like that. I don’t like when I have a real conversation and people aren’t being ­čĺ» with you. In the conversation I realize I need to put some things in order to move pass something that has been pulling on me for a while. Probably gonna be the hardest conversation I’ve had in a while but it most certainly needs to happen. I have been avoiding it like the plague because I don’t want to open any old wounds or have the same conversation to have the same result but it must be done.

Pray for me… feel like David going into the lions den.

Posted in Personal, Thoughts

Once Upon a Friendship

meeting-you

 

This statement rings true. After the passing of my mother a former best friend of mines reached out to comfort me. She showed up to my house with a card and flowers. A mutual friend sent her there. But whatever the reason I welcomed her with open arms. I appreciate her being there.

When she left I thought to myself about what she had said before she left. She was talking about how we never had closure. We didn’t. She abruptly stopped stop the friendship, it felt like I was blindsided. Sure she have made subliminal posts on Facebook about how someone else tainted my view of her. But that was furthest from the truth. After ignoring her post and asking her to talk to us face to face and it never happening, I finally commented on her post. Might not have been the right thing but hey I was over it.

Seems like she only wanted to text our problems away, or write about them on FB. So the shit it the fan on my daughter’s bday weekend. The September I was deleted from her Facebook. When I called her to see what message she was trying to send with that, I was told it was my fault. Confused and after a few messages later I said, “have a nice life.” I was done.

According to her the friendship ended because I let a third-party┬átaint my brain and I didn’t like her other half. Now I could give you the whole┬áback story of her other half, but short and sweet. He beat her among other things. After finding out she still was with him, I took my feelings out of it and remained her friend. But that wasn’t good enough. And as far as someone telling me not to be her friend. I was her friend for 13+ years and no one could tell me anything about her I didn’t already know. Our friendship was not perfect and I realized the problems in our relationship long before her other half came into the picture. Problems that were never really address, but caused friction here and there. So if a problem is never truly fixed.

Back to current. She has reached out and honestly it feels weird. The friend I know and still love, I find myself feeling weird to be around. Because I know things will never be the same. In order to have closure I need her to own up to her faults that cause the demise of this friendship, as well as I need to own up to my fault for the downfall of our friendship.

It’s weird because I think that after all this time, I never get her to do that without playing the victim. But maybe I should just try, right?

Posted in Mommy Chronicles, Personal, Question, Thoughts

No Favorites

Favorite-Child-400x395

So let me just dive right in for most of you who ready my post about my mother and my daughter you know some of the back story.

Well I had my son almost three years ago and my mother has grown an attachment to him. She lost our brother (he was older than me) when he was a baby and even thought she has a living son she didn’t connect with him. But somehow did that with my son. This is my theory but I have a feeling I’m right.

Now she used to watch my kids but since that issue arose with my daughter she hasn’t. But even before then when I didn’t come over for a while. She would tell me how she missed my son. I kind of let it go as he’s the new baby but after 2 1/2 years she still says that when she hasn’t seen him in a while. She never says that about my daughter. So should I feel some kind of way?

I want to asked her why does she say that and never says that about my daughter? I think its clear she has her favorite.