Posted in depression, mood, Personal

Sleep In Peace

Misty

This picture was taken Thursday, who know that Friday would be her last day with us? She went outside while I was putting groceries in the house and was hit my a car. The car stopped looked back and then kept going.

I hated seeing her in pain. Just that morning, she came downstairs to lay with me on the couch until Zay woke up and now that will never happen again.

My initial reaction was idk, I didn’t want to touch her and then I carried her out the street and then to the hospital. Her injuries range and who has 4,000 dollars to what the doctors said may not help and she could die either way. So I decided to put her to sleep. Hearing her injuries hurt my heart and made me cry.

Never lost a pet like this and that shit hurts. Fuck November… as Tuesday the approaches with a reminder of my mother’s death.

Fuck 2020.

Posted in Thoughts

I wonder

I wonder if he knows I battling depression. Idk why I wonder but its little things he does. I can be in a mood and he comes over and says “Hi” loudly and in my face looking me dead in the eye. Other times he just brings all his stuff where I am and plays all while having some body party mostly his feet on me.

I feel bad because I feel like I’m bringing my feelings on to him. So random moments I try and lift my spirits and play but for the most part I just want to sleep.

I miss genuine company but most days I just want the quiet and alone time. I cry silently and loudly at times. Im frustrated more days then most. But I wonder if he knows what’s going on with his mommy.