You know how you need to get something off your chest and the only way you can get it out is through humor? Well a few days ago while talking to him I blurted out, “every time we talk you are giving me a list of things, I’m gonna give you a list of things next time you call me.” He didn’t laugh but I did. He made it clear that he didn’t think it was funny and I kind of wished I didn’t say it. Am I wrong? I understand his plight of being locked up, but it seems that every time he calls it’s to give me orders. It’s beginning to become old. I know if I tell him this he will simply say I won’t ask you to do anything else for me. I would plead with him that he took what I said the wrong way, I was simply saying I would like to enjoy a call from you that you never mention for me to do anything. Let’s just simply talk about stupid stuff, relationships stuff and the news, I don’t know.
The last real conversation or argument we had was last month. I told him how is inconsiderate when I’m out with my friends. He knows I’m out and he calls and I have to get pulled away from dinner and find somewhere quiet to talk. He took that as my friends have a problem with him calling while I’m hanging with them. Also, I told him about the lack of sympathy leading up to and after my grandmother passed. That got mixed up and ended in a big argument.
We ended up talking about it and I really can’t say we fixed it, it’s just another issue that will probably be brought back up. My thoughts are is it because he is incarcerated? He wasn’t selfish before, and since he has been, he has become this selfish person at times and I don’t know if it is because of his incarceration?
I’m looking for answers and I really don’t know who to ask. This behavior is causing me to see the man I love in a different light. How do I fix this? I hate even writing about this but its my personal blog and I feel if I don’t want to talk to friends about it maybe this is the place. So please give me some feedback.